Dear Anal-Retentive People...

"The only thing that sustains one through life
is the consciousness of the immense inferiority of everybody else,
and this is a feeling that I have always cultivated."
-- Oscar Wilde

Dear Nameless Freshmen (you know who you are),

I have absolutely no problem with you being intelligent or surprisingly talented. I don't feel envy, I don't feel jealousy. I'm not green, blue, yellow or any colour for that matter -- I'm completely astounded by people who show great giftedness. It's something you stand in awe of, not mock. But, I do have a little pet peeve: when you rub in your intelligence, or remind others of how inferior they may seem/be/sound, you become an official asshole.

Ass-effin-holes. Scusi ragazzi. Excusé-moi. Pardon my profanities.

My mannerisms are mine; if I forget, for some odd reason, what something might be, what some elementary term could possibly mean -- inform me. Don't preach to me. I've already accepted some religion as my faith, so I don't need/want to be converted. I don't need a fire-breathing reverend-ess whipping me into shape with catty little gestures, eye-rolls or uncalled-for commentary. You can all just go eat yourself. And that's the truth.

Being modest is a sin. Don't tell me you're stupid, if you're not.
Being humble is a virtue. Tell me that you know stuff; don't shoot me for being temporarily idiotic.

Otherwise. Go smarten up. Eat yourself.
Figure something out. Stop brown-nosing.
You only lose dignity in the process of it.


Love, garlic and cheese,
- Me.