Jane Austen and weeding out the freshmen

"I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them."
-- Jane Austen

I was reading Emma by Jane Austen when I remembered something... And, I know it's almost Christmas. And I shouldn't be analyzing life, right now anyways. But, I'm obliged to do so. With this blog as my witness, I will analyze first year statistics and social patterns. I will take what I've learned in... enlightening discussions with teacher figures about the nature of this first year sweep. Yes. The weeding, as it's better called. So... cut me some slack. I'm going to be a mini-analyst, minus any Freudian assumptions.

I hate to be the bearer of obvious news (Captain Obvious, in layman's terms), but I gathered the impression that these exams were not (and have never been) a measure of one's intelligence. Oh no. Exams at U of T are not based on knowledge or intelligence, but are means of dividing the strong from the weak. Of course, intelligence doesn't have to play a part in this process. Let me use a term that BIO150 has already established: natural selection.

Like Austen's quote, our natural abilities, seen and shown, will help the "higher ups" decide whether or not we're worth keeping. They either like us (uber-genius children), or hate us (your average Joe). Depending on where we land, these exams will select against or for us, our kind.

Those of us who survive will thrive, multiply brain cells and continue to dominate down the road. Those of us who falter will be on the borderline of negative selection; we'll be processed and drained out of the batch, strained and sifted out of the creme de la creme. Then there are those that have already been sifted and drained, strained and beaten to a pulp; they're awaiting the compost, or possibly being reconsidered for the de-glazed sauce (you know, the stuff at the bottom of the pan that's scrubbed off with sherry and turned into a sauce for later?). That's only if you're lucky. Keyword is lucky.

A lot of success includes a good sum of luck. The same rule applies to success at this university, not necessarily in the social aspects of it, but in beating the system. You can't really beat the marking system or the administrative properties given and found, but you can evade it here and there. Life will occasionally do its business of dropping dollops of luck. And luck is, by far, the next-best tool (next to work ethic) against this godforsaken marking system.

They don't stop as you age; they don't realize their wrongs, as numbers dwindle. No, they just soften up, based on their motives. The marking system is only as hard as it is now because of Operation Garden Weeds, which, in my opinion, refers to the process of weeding and sifting out the people who are, and don't quote me, "just lucky to be here" from the "truly gifted and welcomed" students. Once you're in, they slow down a bit. They realize you might just be gifted and wonderful; they slow down their tactics, regain composure and watch you. Then they wait for the right moment to attack. Like predators, they stalk you and wait for you to show a sign of weakness. At this point, past the first year mark, is when you ought to be on your guard.

Until then, you're still in first year. So you're still allowed to have that minute amount of naivety, but you ought to compose yourself soon. My idiot card will only last me so long; soon enough, they'll take that from me, like they would in a card-game of War, and I'll only be left with low digits and one trump card.

Play it safe. Play it smart.
First year is a battlefield. A game to the higher-ups, maybe.
Exams are the weeding process. The mine-field. A game of War.
Hold your cards close and play the right cards, at the right times.
And maybe, maybe you'll eventually luck-out and win.
Or evade the system. Or both.

CHM138: "I'm starting to worry about Ray."

"They say the future's out to get you.
You know that I won't let you fall."
-- The Hoosiers (Worried About Ray)


I'll see you on the dark side.
If tomorrow isn't a pain-in-the-backside, I think I'll enjoy my holidays.
I'm crossing my fingers; I'm hoping for the best -- yet I still expect the worst.
Chemistry is fun. Just... Not when it gets superbly ridiculous.
I'm hoping 3 hours is enough time. (When is time ever enough?)

Then. After tomorrow. I'm home free. Well. For two-or-so-weeks.
First chemistry. Then come the holidays.

NOTE: All photos are (c) Suzette Llacer 2007. That is a sticky-note posted on her laptop, yes, it's bizarre. She knows.

----------------
Now playing: The Hoosiers - Worried About Ray
via FoxyTunes

BIO150: "Faaair ball!"

"Never trust anything that can think for itself
if you can't see where it keeps its brain."
-- J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter)

Dear Prof Stinchcombe,

Exams are always hard; that's a given fact of life. Yours was no exception. But it was fair. There was nothing completely out of the blue (except for material you probably wouldn't remember unless you attended the lecture an hour before). We were fairly warned about the article content. Some of the questions were hilariously nitty-gritty (detail-oriented), but it wasn't a tear-jerker like the first term test (I suppose Spencer Barrett's horrendous test questions made up for his cool-Brit accent). It wasn't impossible, yet it wasn't completely satisfying (you know, for holiday-and-grade hopes, i.e. Christmas presents and moot points?). All in all, it could have been better (please don't hesitate to ask how; I have 101 tips on how to write easier, more approachable tests). And though some may think that the term test was a foul ball, past the line and a little ambiguous, or a "Strike two!", or even "Home run!" ---- if I were the ump, I'd call, "Fair ball."

So... Good job. On being honest. At UofT. (A rare thing, I know.)

Kudos.

- Suzette Llacer


PS: I have the "Chicka-dee-dee-dee..." lecture in my head. So sad. So sad.

X-mas tv specials vs. UofT mind control?

"And they will try to make us forget ourselves, one by one, one by one.
Call me crazy but they are after us, one by one, one by one."
-- Eisley (Invasion, Combinations)

Has my mind done that yet? I'm not completely sure. I should check. ASAP.

I'm going to spontaneously combust. I need sleep. I slept at 4:00 in the a.m.
So much for moderation of sleep and all things healthful. And I've still got to "read."
Well. This is fun. Super-fun-fun-fun.

Insert dialogue: "What's so bad about being a UofT android: mindless and smart!"
Retort in mind? "Can I do that after the new year? I swear, I'll conform!"
Seriously. If you want an android, a hard-working robot, I'll be that by January. I swear!
(Note to self: watching Disney movies = bad study tactic.)

I'm so utterly disoriented. I told myself I wouldn't watch Christmas specials (on TV) until after exams, and I flipped through the channels (oh the perks and downsides of having my own TV) and came across The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. Man, oh man! I watched it. Was disoriented. Went on to watch Hockey Night In Canada -- and poof. There went four hours of potential brain-cramming. But it felt so, so good! For a moment, I escaped the mind control of repetitive reading and application -- the stuff UofT androids are made of! (I swear I'll be this way soon. I swear!)

But... TV? Studying? Never again.



Note: All images are (c) Suzette Llacer. Yes, the movie shot shows "Road to Eldorado" and a picture of fireworks she took a few years back, on Canada Day. Oh the good, old, simple days. Oh woe is she.

Loss of Focus and the Need to Watch Shrek 2

"I think we have an emergency; I think we have an emergency.
If you thought I'd leave then you were wrong, because I won't stop holding on."
-- Paramore (Emergency, All We Know Is Falling)

I zonked in and out of focus today. I really do have a problem studying before the Winter Break. I'm mentally dying (Note to self: condition your mind for pre-holiday exams, if not now then for next year). I've had exams in November. I've had exams in January. Just never December. "Peace of mind is dead. Holiday cheer and frivolousness is nonexistent. Welcome to U of T?" Yipes.

I think I'm in need of a Shrek fix. I can't seriously do bio for another ... two hours.
I'm going to spontaneously combust one day. You wait.

In Stinchcombe We Trust...?

"What's a wedding? Webster's dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one's garden."

-- Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)

So the pre-BIO150 exam tutorial was pretty impressive, considering it was two hours of hardcore Q&A, in the Earth Science building (no less) and with more than a hundred kids firing queries. The senior TA that came in today was very informative (and superior to some I've met and spoken to, not that I'm pointing any fingers -- save for my aunt, who once was a TA at U of T). And I thought I was the only one who used analogies (with effect); hmph! to anyone who ever judged me for such.

Despite its impressiveness, which honestly counts for moot points, I'm getting the subliminal message: Know every-effin'-thing possible. After my run-in with heartfelt failure (MAT135Y term test 2 = heinous), I'm hoping I can trust in BIO150. I'm hoping I can trust in Stinchcombe's test. (I'm so optimistic and idealistic that it kills me to frown. I suppose this could also be the aftermath of post-anxiety denial.)

"The direction in which education starts a man will determine his future life."
-- Plato

Funny Plato. Isn't he just the darndest philosopher you ever did read up on? It's funny how he states the Western Dream (my personal derivative of the American and Canadian dream -- a good mix of winning the Stanley Cup and getting into an Ivy League school): to make it big, through the right people, through the right institutions, which will send you in the right direction.

Now, according to 1 of my 6 sticky notes posted on my desk, I've got to study.
(Personally, I love BIO. I just hate studying. This conflict kills me inside. Ah.)

Note: All photos seen are (c) Suzette Llacer. Yes. That is her lab manual.

Calc Exam: "Let's never speak of this again."

"Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater."
-- Albert Einstein

Let's skew Einstein's quote, take it completely out of context, and replace his name with mine. For anyone who found the test difficult and heinous, you're not alone. I was suffocating (more like a mild form of dyspepsia). After the first few questions, I realize just how defective MAT135Y is as a course: none of the past tests, nothing that was worth focusing on, was really on the test. A load of the biggest bullshit was on it -- in short, stuff no one thought was worth fiddling over was on that written form of mental homicide. Absolutely ridiculous.

It'd be nice to pass, to be honest. A sympathy pass, hopefully. (Are you reading this God? Or better yet: Prof Lam -- are you getting my telepathic pleas?) For anyone who found it easy: up yours. Honestly though, that's great -- good for you. Seriously. But! Keep that tidbit of info to yourself, or else you'll find many glares and a thousand daggers headed your way (figuratively speaking; though the wind does a well enough job portraying a thousand daggers, as it whips your face red, as you walk down St. George Street).

I wasn't intending to find out if calc was the Career Killer, the Jack-the-Ripper of university. But I got my whiff of failure today and absolute helplessness. Have you ever felt like you were completely powerless? Utterly speechless and without the ability to dictate your own actions? This test pretty much abducted me, threw me into a cell and instructed me to dig my way out with a plastic spoon. Helpless and hopeless. Oh so wonderful! (Please note the heavily-laden sarcasm.)

Lucky for me, I had Grey's Anatomy and Whose Line is it Anyway? to look forward to. They always make me feel better. That and a good, warm cookie. Oh thank you very much, dearest mumsy.

Off to bed.
I'm not going to speak of this again.
I'm going to glare at bio and chem.
But I'm not going to let this soil my to-be-established exam mood.

Exam reminders: T-Cards are a must!

Pre-Post Reminder:
If you've already forgotten that you have school and that you have exams (well that's fantastic; you're off to a very, very good start: go check the December 2007 Exam Schedule), let me be the first and last to remind you that T-Cards are a must. You must present your number, or else they will not (I repeat: will not), recognize you. You are only as good as the number on your card (that, and the face accompanying the card-holder). If you've lost it, ahem to some (Farah), go get a new one, ASAP. For anyone in Life Sci, who is taking MAT135, you'll most likely need it for Term Test 2, December 6th (yes, that would be a Thursday -- aren't you on the ball?).


Post-reminder post:
Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm being anal, but if you're going to save seats for your friends, please ensure that your friend is a real person and not a bag/inanimate being of some sort. It tends to irk people when you respond to their queries like this: "Yeah. That seats saved." (Insert anonymous-brand bag that's sitting all by its lonesome.) And dummies don't count, unless you're really funny. Then I'll let it slide. Otherwise, bags, when taking valuable seating space, are counted as vile villains. Off with their... zippers. And handles. Beware.

Tomorrow, or some day after, I'd like to discuss "Passion vs. Intelligence" and "Social Retardation vs. Interpersonal Finesse," which is the brainchild discussion of a random phone-call regarding Research Positions for first-and-further year undergrads. When you're eating fries, trying to read BIO150 articles (dry as bone, for a vast majority of the articles), and examining your prospects, you tend to elaborate.

I'll post that depthy, layered thought later.
When I've found time to rest. Yes. Time to rest.