Surviving A Crappy Semester 101, Tips 1-5

"Fools rush in where angels fear to tread."

-- Alexander Pope

It has come to my attention that this term/semester has had absolutely no increase in its value. Rather than surpassing the expectations of the previous semester, a pretty bleak yet enlightening one, it has plummeted further downward. Interestingly enough, I've come up with several idiot-proof rules for surviving the rest of this godforsaken, effin' forlorn semester. (Yes, this includes labs, a particular course and other particularities.)

Surviving A Crappy Semester 101, or
Surviving Another Semester for Dummies

Of course, this would be the unpublished, unverified guide, but it's mine. I was supposed to write a bunch of other 101s, but this one seems to be of the utmost importance. If I don't write the excerpt now, I'm pretty sure I'll falter and go nuts. By the end of this term, I'll either be, a) insane or, b) incoherent. One way or the other, I know I'll lose out. Positive is the key. Positive is the plan.

So. Here are my little tips. My little thought-bubbles.

(1) Smile and Nod. So you don't understand what the hell's going on. Smile and nod for the time being; avoid any unnecessary commentary or rudeness from inappropriate sources (the type that irk you and make you want to knock heads). Once the madness is over, shuffle over to whoever seems most helpful (let's start with friends, move our way up to smart acquaintances and then to TAs and then professors). When things seem bleak, just smile. Frowning wastes energy. Smiling, on the other hand, ensures that you look good and seem well. It's always good to psyche out those who are willing to psyche you out too. (Pessimistic, I know, but give it a try.)

(2) "You have no relevance in my life, therefore, you will not bother me." It's a good motto to go by when you have irksome people in classes, labs or the like. There's really no point in fretting over tiny details about insignificant people, whom you will never ever have the heart to have lunch with. Should that ever happen in the near future, and you discuss politics alongside a slice of vegetarian pizza, then that's just a plain bonus. It'll be something to laugh back at. So, if the dude with the obnoxious brainwaves sits next to you and jabbers on about his mind-boggling intelligence, just think that very line. Eventually, he'll get the message and vanish from your danger-radar.

(3) You think you can? You know you can. Do the chugga-chugga method and be a train; pull yourself up the mountain. Of course everyone has their setbacks and it's natural that you'll fall into a rut here and there, but did that noble train stop? No. He said that he would and he did. "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can..." That's all that matters.

(4) Love and it shall love you in return. Personally, I hate CHM139 and its labs, but I'll do my best to love it anyway. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, yes? So keep this lab close to your dear heart and eventually, you'll see that it'll feign that same love and you'll find some benefits in the mutuality of your relationship. Love it. Love it. Love it. That's all I can say.

(5) Laugh at yourself. There's no point in mumbling, fussing or bitching about your flaws. I think it's better if you and the rest of the world can laugh at it; eventually, those Venus-sized mental pimples will shrink down to a livable dirt-clod size. When you laugh at yourself, you lose one of your worst enemies -- yourself. Why battle yourself and slave over your mistakes with a pining sense of indignation when the rest of that course is already slamming you in the face? The less you have opposing you, the better your chances of pulling through.


And that's 1-5 for you. And GOD, I hope I follow through.

Peace out, until the next post.

In a rut, I guess?

"Winter is on my head, but eternal spring is in my heart."
-- Victor Hugo

I don't think I've ever been this bothered by the winter term; I don't hate it. I can't love it. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place -- or so goes the old adage. I can't figure, for the life of me, whether or not I should keep on trucking (in vain, vague hopes), or if I should kind of slow down a bit, before I spiral out of control. It doesn't help that this term is filled with courses (or the halves of courses) that are meaningless to me (ok, so not meaningless, but most definitely irregular).

I'm looking forward to the end of this so-called madness, thus I am slightly hopeful. My hopefulness springs from mostly a need to succeed, and the basicity of survival. Only the strong survive. Strong, however, isn't the right word to use. Neither is intelligent. Let's use smart. Because intelligence is something gathered from books and strength is something derived from brawn. Smarts is a healthy balance of the two.

My goal: be smart.
Intelligence is difficult and strength is tricky...
But being smart is forever.
So let's try that.

Dr. Seuss: "I don't like green eggs and ham either."

“I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam I am.”
-- Dr. Seuss (Green Eggs & Ham)

I will not lie. I cannot lie. In fact, I will simply tell the truth because there is absolutely no point in telling you that the first day back was exhilarating. I felt like I was smelling morning puke on the bus ride -- this is me being dramatic, so ignore this pedantic bit of writing -- and the subway was ultra-packed, as per usual, at St. George station. I've never been more disinterested in the TTC. I have no problem with taking long rides to places in the middle of nowhere, for my own reasons, but to drag myself (at 8-ish in the morning) to the bus stop was horrendous. Pft.

The first day back was bullshit. Yes. That's the term.

CHM139 should have been a breath of fresh air, but how many people do you hear saying that? We can count the people from last term too -- see what they say. I'm already dreading it. The clicker. The online assignments. The first term test on Valentine's day (not that this really matters, what with me having absolutely no purpose for that day, but it irks me).

Maybe I'm just not giving the semester a chance. I'm pre-judging it far before it's had any time to prove me wrong. I do not like green eggs and ham. Oh yeah; that's for sure. I wonder what the green eggs and ham will be this time around. I do not like them, Sam I am. Who will be the poor fool that tries to consciously convert me from my current loath of the term?

Ok. So I'm being a big pessimist. I'm not used to this pessimism. It's taking over me with all forms of cynicism. I'm going to do my best to try and like the term, but I highly doubt I will. If I'm lucky, I'll like green eggs and ham; I'll find something to like about CHM139 and MAT135. I'll... do something. Find something.

I need to punch something.
Or play a good game of... something.

Winter 2008: "What doesn't kill you, can only make you stronger."

"We have so much time and so little to do. Strike that, reverse it."
-- Roald Dahl (author of Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, et al)

It is with a heavy heart that I write this post. Yes, the death of our winter break is at hand. For many, new courses have sprung from the depths. For others, a single difference -- whether that be a new half course, or the presence of CHM139 or CHM138 (both beastly in workload, I hear). I suppose I could say that I'm unduly ready for the challenges that await me, but I'd be lying. And I'm a horrible liar. So instead of that fallacy, I'll tell you that I'm nervous as hell. Fear-ridden and shitting myself silly. Mentally, mind you.

I've got my work cut out for me this term. I've got essays, compositions, reports, all that and more to worry about. I've got final exams and more tests and an increase in failure-rates to deal with. Once the worst is over, I suppose I can rest. It's got to turn black, before it turns yellow; it's get to get worse, before it gets better. That is the way of the Bruises.

So tomorrow marks a new beginning, sort of. You can either take this term with a grain of salt and be taken under by its current, drowned in the undertow and smothered by false expectations. Or you can be utterly afraid, like myself, and push yourself past the brink of academic death -- find faith in your own work ethic, and propel yourself forward. Now is not a time to give up, moan, groan, or any of that juvenile business. Grow up. Accept the "This is U of T. You are a Number," cliché. Because it's not a cliché; it's the goddamn truth.

I guess the Princess Diaries is a perfect movie to watch right now (please finish this sentence before you disregard the remnants of my sanity); I think it was her father, in a letter to her, that spoke so eloquently about courage and fear. I'm not going to quote what I think it was, but I'm sure it went about saying something like, Courage is not the absence of fear, but the will to go on in the presence of it. Or something like such. Don't quote me; it's not verbatim.

So, fear this term. Be wary of it. Treat it like an opponent in a Cold War, except not really. Don't let it trample you or stare you down. Initiate. Guns at the ready, as some might say, and attack with sharpness. No use clinging to your skirts (or trousers) and whinnying about the unfairness of it all. I do that a lot -- but it's only to amuse myself. You sputter childish whines to feel less burdened, to feel more at ease. Fix what you can, when you can. Cry when you can't. That's all I can say.

So expect: moaning, groaning, angry words -- and underlying actions that make all that whining all the more palpable.

Good luck. Fare well.
Until tomorrow, at least.

Writing Up Resolutions... or something like it.

"And I always confuse Monet and Manet.
Now which one married his mistress?"
- Daniel Ocean, in Ocean's 11

Firstly, Happy New Year's! It's 2008 and we're four more months into the end of first year! Think of life in that way and you'll be fine. Otherwise, you can wallow in self pity about age or whatnot. That's your really your choice.

Secondly!

2000-Eight Resolutions.
In the form of song lyrics. Because that's how I do things.

1. "I can do whatever I want like you." (Indiana, Meg & Dia)

2. "If you painted a Fresco." (Tell Mary, Meg & Dia)

3. "That's what you get when you let your heart win." (That's What You Get, Paramore)

4. "The Good News is that it's the end of the line, and all things heal with time, so just let go." (Good News and Bad News, Karate High School)

5. "We live in a beautiful world. Yes we do, yes we do." (Don't Panic, Coldplay)

6. "Keeping my mouth shut, that goes without saying." (Call It Off, Tegan and Sara)

7. "You humour me today, calling me out to play." (Telescope Eyes, Eisley)

8. "I said these goddamn kids got nothing on me... Do you know who I am?" (Speak Low If You Speak Love, My American Heart)



Welcome to Winter Term 2008.