Surviving A Crappy Semester 101, Tips 1-5

"Fools rush in where angels fear to tread."

-- Alexander Pope

It has come to my attention that this term/semester has had absolutely no increase in its value. Rather than surpassing the expectations of the previous semester, a pretty bleak yet enlightening one, it has plummeted further downward. Interestingly enough, I've come up with several idiot-proof rules for surviving the rest of this godforsaken, effin' forlorn semester. (Yes, this includes labs, a particular course and other particularities.)

Surviving A Crappy Semester 101, or
Surviving Another Semester for Dummies

Of course, this would be the unpublished, unverified guide, but it's mine. I was supposed to write a bunch of other 101s, but this one seems to be of the utmost importance. If I don't write the excerpt now, I'm pretty sure I'll falter and go nuts. By the end of this term, I'll either be, a) insane or, b) incoherent. One way or the other, I know I'll lose out. Positive is the key. Positive is the plan.

So. Here are my little tips. My little thought-bubbles.

(1) Smile and Nod. So you don't understand what the hell's going on. Smile and nod for the time being; avoid any unnecessary commentary or rudeness from inappropriate sources (the type that irk you and make you want to knock heads). Once the madness is over, shuffle over to whoever seems most helpful (let's start with friends, move our way up to smart acquaintances and then to TAs and then professors). When things seem bleak, just smile. Frowning wastes energy. Smiling, on the other hand, ensures that you look good and seem well. It's always good to psyche out those who are willing to psyche you out too. (Pessimistic, I know, but give it a try.)

(2) "You have no relevance in my life, therefore, you will not bother me." It's a good motto to go by when you have irksome people in classes, labs or the like. There's really no point in fretting over tiny details about insignificant people, whom you will never ever have the heart to have lunch with. Should that ever happen in the near future, and you discuss politics alongside a slice of vegetarian pizza, then that's just a plain bonus. It'll be something to laugh back at. So, if the dude with the obnoxious brainwaves sits next to you and jabbers on about his mind-boggling intelligence, just think that very line. Eventually, he'll get the message and vanish from your danger-radar.

(3) You think you can? You know you can. Do the chugga-chugga method and be a train; pull yourself up the mountain. Of course everyone has their setbacks and it's natural that you'll fall into a rut here and there, but did that noble train stop? No. He said that he would and he did. "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can..." That's all that matters.

(4) Love and it shall love you in return. Personally, I hate CHM139 and its labs, but I'll do my best to love it anyway. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, yes? So keep this lab close to your dear heart and eventually, you'll see that it'll feign that same love and you'll find some benefits in the mutuality of your relationship. Love it. Love it. Love it. That's all I can say.

(5) Laugh at yourself. There's no point in mumbling, fussing or bitching about your flaws. I think it's better if you and the rest of the world can laugh at it; eventually, those Venus-sized mental pimples will shrink down to a livable dirt-clod size. When you laugh at yourself, you lose one of your worst enemies -- yourself. Why battle yourself and slave over your mistakes with a pining sense of indignation when the rest of that course is already slamming you in the face? The less you have opposing you, the better your chances of pulling through.


And that's 1-5 for you. And GOD, I hope I follow through.

Peace out, until the next post.